


Duality

by daftalchemist



Series: A New AUniverse [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: First Time, I apologize for nothing, M/M, No happy endings, Orgasm Denial, Tentabulges, Voyeurism, Xeno, accidental adultery, awkward sexuality, body confusion, dual bulge, intentional adultery, lisp alliteration, serious plot action, sexy psionic usage, somewhat darkfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-15
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-29 08:48:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/685078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daftalchemist/pseuds/daftalchemist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playing ectobiological God has devastating consequences. Dirk just needs someone who can understand how he feels, but not even Sollux's psychic abilities could prepare him for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by f1rstperson because her betas make me happy soul, also beta'd by Vollerei. Hooray for new betas!

Your name is...

...Hmmm.

Well, that was strange. You knew that everyone had a name...but you just couldn't remember your own at the moment.

In fact, you didn't know where you _were_ either, which was worrying, but it was more worrying that you couldn't remember where you had been earlier either. Actually, that was more along the lines of “frightening”, when you really thought about it. You knew you were _somewhere_. You could see vague, blurry shapes everywhere, though it was impossible to make any of them out with how _bright_ it was where you were. But even though it was mind-searingly bright, there were people around you who seemed to not be having any difficulty with the light. They were moving around; so they obviously could see where they were going. They were also saying something, but you had no idea what because everything sounded soft and fuzzy, like you were eavesdropping on a conversation happening twenty feet away, and also you were hiding in a pile of hay because that seemed like a good place to eavesdrop from.

One of the people was close to you. Your ganderbulbs could just make out the dark shape of someone, and you reached towards them. The person made a sort of shocked squeaking noise and jumped back. It was weird, but your body felt sluggish. That probably meant you were sick, right? Oh god, what if you were really fucking sick and that's why you couldn't remember your name or where you were? What if it was a hospital?

You asked the people for help, but it came out more like “Helmph”, which was also really weird, and now you were nearly panicking because you were clearly _very_ sick. But if you were sick, why were the shapes around you coming a little bit more in focus with each passing moment? And why were your aural shells starting to pick up discernible words? But you had to be sick, because why else would your skin have just started to tingle and twitch...

You touched your face, your arm, your chest. You could barely feel anything. It was like you were wearing thick clothes, but you were actually...yep, completely naked. So maybe the twitch and tingle were chills? From being naked? You wished your think pan didn't feel so full of fluff. Then maybe you could figure out what was _wrong_ , and why the hell the lighter person shape in front of you sounded so angry. You concentrated, trying your best to hear was was being said.

“....you do?” said a male voice, muffled but still noticeably angry. “Wha... _fuck_ did you...”

It was so hard to hear them. You wished they would talk louder, or move closer. Or, actually, maybe you could move closer to them. You pressed your hands against the floor, and it was hard and cold like...tile. So at least you could feel things a little more now. You pushed upwards, making it to a crouch, but as you tried to stand upright you tumbled forward, knocking your head against the floor. You yelped in pain as you curled your arms over your head. Why didn't your legs work? How sick _were_ you?

The lighter human shape was standing over you now, only now you could tell it was a guy because he had short hair. He was...sighing, you thought. The darker shape joined him, and that one was a girl because her hair was longer. And then suddenly there was a _third_ dark shape, but this one had bright...protrusions on its head. Horns. Of course, horns. You knew what horns were. All trolls had horns. You wished your think pan would try to keep up with you.

The troll knelt down next to you, and your bloodpusher jumped because a strange troll was getting close to you and this was _not_ a good position for a sick person to be in. But the troll brushed a hand through your hair, and...actually, that helped your vision a bit. Maybe hair had been hanging in your face? It was slicked back now though, and you were suddenly aware of the weird gooey stuff that was coating your entire body. Your sense of touch was definitely coming back.

“...sorry,” the dark shape was saying. “We didn't think...would work.”

Finally! Your hearing was coming back!

“How?” the light shape said, and he still sounded angry.

“Uh, well,” the dark shape stammered. “We mixed your blood sample with, uh...Karkat's...”

The lighter shape growled, and you flinched backwards. The troll papped its hand along your cheek, which was soothing. Maybe the troll was your moirail?

“What the _hell_ made you mix my blood with Karkat's for your weird ectobiology shit?” the lighter shape shouted.

“Well, his color is red,” the darker shape responded. “And, uh...so is yours.”

“Holy shit, Harley,” the lighter shape said. “You scientific fucking GENIUSES mixed our blood together because our fucking _colors matched_?! This is the creation of life, not a fucking paint by numbers!”

You wished he wasn't so angry. It was getting your think pan all worked up like you were under attack, but you didn't really seem to be under attack.

“I already said we didn't think it would work!” the darker shape, Harley?, shouted in response.

The lighter shape sighed. “Why is he our age?”

“We don't know,” Harley said.

The lighter shape shouted in anger and stomped away. You cowered backwards, wishing there was somewhere to hide. The troll continued to pap your face, but it wasn't helping anymore. The troll was definitely _not_ your moirail.

“Both of you,” the troll said, and it was obviously a female troll by how soft her voice was, “please try to calm down. You're frightening him.”

The lighter figure came back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You're killing me, girls,” he said, sounding a little sad. “You do realize that my boyfriend gets back in almost a week, right? You just had to fucking spring this on me now, didn't you?”

“Look,” said the darker figure. “We only asked you to come here to see what you wanted to do with him. He is sort of, you know...related to you. In a way.”

The lighter figure knelt down in front of you, gently grabbed your chin, and tilted your face up towards his. His hair was blonde, practically white. He had two black disks on his face, shades?, but they had slipped downward and you saw bright red ganderbulbs behind them. He turned your head side to side, looking you over.

“He's definitely a Strider,” he said. “Alchemize some shades.”

The troll walked away, but returned a moment later and put some sort of dark plastic shapes over your eyes. It was weird, but you could suddenly _see_ everything now. Maybe your bulbs had just been too sensitive to the light? You reached up and touched the shades they had given you. They jutted up in large points on each side.

“S-stri-der,” you said, glad that your squawk gaper was finally starting to work.

The lighter figure cocked half a smile and nodded. “That's right, bro. You're a Strider.”

You smiled. “I'm...a Strider.”

“So,” the lighter figure said as he looked to the girl. “Why can he talk?”

“Ok, we really don't know,” she responded. “We don't know anything about him yet. And we won't know anything about him until we, well, see him in action out in the world. See what he can do. It's pretty exciting!”

The lighter figure shook his head then looked over to the troll. “How about you get the kid some clothes?”

With your new shades you could see that the troll was quite pretty in a lovely red skirt. Also, she seemed to be a rainbow drinker, which you seemed to think wasn't even really possible? You swallowed fearfully, but no one else was afraid of her, so you forced your bloodpusher to calm down.

“Of course,” she responded and smiled sweetly at you before leaving.

The darker figure, a girl with fluffy aural shells on her head?, squeezed the lighter figure's shoulder. “I'm sorry. I know this isn't a good time. We honestly didn't expect this to work.”

“It's fine, Jade,” the lighter figure said.

Jade smiled and followed the troll.

The lighter figure gazed down on you. “Sup?”

“Sup?” you said. “Uh...who are...you?”

The lighter figure pushed his shades back into place. “The name's Dave Strider, bro. And your name is...hmm, Dirk Strider.”

Your name is DIRK STRIDER.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's not quite right and Dirk can't handle it.

Stepping out of what you later found out was a laboratory was incredibly disorienting. It didn't help that you were still covered in a thin layer of ecto-slime, and the clothes the rainbow drinker Kanaya had given you clung to it in an incredibly unpleasant way. Plus you didn't have any shoes. You were thankful that no one was around to see you. They must have been busy.

Dave's hive wasn't too far away from the lab, but it took quite a while to get there. Your strength was increasing by the minute, but walking was still fairly difficult. You wished you understood why. This was stuff that should have been sorted out by this point. You weren't a wiggler anymore. You tried to ask Dave what was wrong, but diverting your attention from your feet for even a moment had you tripping over yourself, and he had to catch you by the arm to keep you from falling flat on your face. He tossed you a quick “less talk, more walk”, but he never answered your question. You didn't see why he couldn't just answer your question. _He_ didn't have trouble walking and talking at the same time. In fact, he looked just fine walking along, holding your arm firm in his grip to help keep you upright, because being upright was an issue, and you were concerned about that.

He was just so...

Cool.

Yeah, cool. You honestly didn't know what “cool” meant, but your think pan had supplied it to you, and you knew it fit him. Dave Strider was cool, and Dave Strider had said you were a Strider too, so you must also be cool. You didn't know why, but you had this feeling that being a Strider meant you were just a cool guy by default. You forced yourself upright, shook off Dave's hand. He quirked an eyebrow at you and you shot a grin at him. He returned your grin with a slight nod. You tried to pay less attention to your feet and eased into a relaxed gait. You looked ridiculous with your baggy, slime-lined clothes, but you went with it, made it work for you, because somewhere in the back of your mind you knew that was what Striders did.

Oh yeah, you were seriously cool now.

You were also absolutely disgusting with all of the unexplained slime that coated your hair and skin, and you were not enjoying it. You immediately asked Dave where his ablution trap was when you finally reached his hive.

“Don't have one, bro,” he said with an almost unnoticeable grin. “Just a shower.”

You squinted at him in confusion (not that he could see since you were wearing awesome shades) and he led you upstairs to a room that was mostly tile, except for the pink flowery wallpaper. Every organ, every cell, ever _molecule_ in your body shouted “IRONIC”, and you knew in that moment the ultimate truth. The wallpaper was ironic, and irony was _good_.

That thought was immediately put on hold as you noticed what was clearly an ablution trap in the corner of the room. Talking hadn't been your forte recently, but you had to try again. You had to put _serious concentrated effort_ into decent sentence formation.

“What gives?” you asked Dave, folding your arms over your chest because it just felt like the right thing to do. “You said you didn't have an ablution trap.”

“I don't,” he responded, the slight grin from a moment ago showing a little more openly, like there was some joke going on that you didn't know about yet. “I have a _shower_.”

And your mind sort of...hiccuped.

You knew what a shower was. Of course you did. Every bathroom had a shower, and every house had a bathroom. You didn't know why you had forgotten...

“Just show me how to use the fucking trap already,” you grumbled, feeling suddenly irritated, though you didn't know why.

Dave shrugged and showed you the various nobs and nozzles, and you were in ablution heaven a minute later. Scrubbing the gooey slime out of your hair proved to be more of a challenge than you expected, and you were kind of weirded out by how soft your hair was. You didn't think it was supposed to be that soft, but whatever. Maybe the slime just conditioned it really well? You forced the thought out of your mind.

The next oddity you ran into was your skin. You were unusually pale. You didn't know why you hadn't noticed that back at the lab. You were probably just preoccupied. Actually, you were as pale as Dave, which was even weirder because Dave was...well he wasn't a troll anyway. “Human”, your brain whispered. Dave was “human”. So...you were pale like a human. That was...special.

Not only were you abnormally pale, but you had the strangest little protrusions on your chest. You ran your thumbs over them (briefly noting how dull your claws were), and the combined pressure from your fingers and the warmth of the water made them...tingle. Like...really tingle. And they kind of swelled a little too, which was a little worrying. You brushed your fingers over them again, and the tingling sensation was much stronger this time. Your body felt warmer, and there was a weird stirring tightness in your stomach. Your curiosity was peaked, and you bit your lip as you pinched the protrusions between your thumbs and forefingers. You gasped and let go as rush of prickling pain and warmth surged through your body, pooling in your gut. You had no idea what you had just done, but you were pretty sure you didn't want to do it again.

You were breathing harder than you had been a moment ago, and you were honestly feeling a little dizzy. Your theory about being sick was looking like a reality more and more every minute, but if you really were sick why weren't the humans acting concerned at all? You sighed as you returned to scrubbing the slime off of you and, oh jegus fuck, what the hell was _that_?!

You honestly wanted to crawl into a pile and hide from the...abnormality hanging between your legs. That...that wasn't supposed to be there, you were pretty sure, and you were really losing your cool now. Your hands were shaking as you reached down, slowly, so slowly, and just...brushed your fingers against...

You exhaled shakily as this...sensation made your skin feel hot and your thinkpan feel fuzzy. It was so _weird_. So why the _hell_ did it feel good? And why the hell was it _moving_ , fuck! You grabbed it with both hands, squealing in pain as whatever weird...sack thing behind it got the brunt of your knuckles and sent a searing jolt of pain through you. You blinked back tears, partly because of the pain but mostly because of the fear flooding your system.

Despite the pain, the thing kept feeling good, and it kept _growing_. You tried to force it down, put it away somehow, but every movement your fingers made against it just made your bloodpusher quicken, your body shiver. Eventually you were _deliberately_ rubbing your fingers against it, soft whines bubbling up from your throat. You wondered briefly if this was your bulge. You also wondered why it hadn't been sheathed, but the sensations your hands were producing scattered all thoughts. You were panting and moving your hands faster than before. The strange... _thing_ was solid now, completely erect and _throbbing_. You reached one hand back behind the sack thing, probing around for your nook, suddenly wanting to touch it as well. Your breath hitched for just a second as you realized you didn't have a nook. That probably should have worried you a lot more than it was, but you had touched some other sort of...entrance or something. It was tight and you couldn't push inside it without hurting yourself, but it felt warm and tingly when you rubbed your finger against it. You were completely unnerved, but you couldn't stop. You just wanted to keep rubbing faster, _harder_ , you just had to...

The muscles in your groin tightened abruptly, and there was a strong stirring in your bulge, or whatever it was, and this... _urge_ , and it was _weird_. You dropped your hands to your side immediately, panting hard. Your bulge twitched as beads of some weird white liquid leaking from the tip of it. White. That wasn't normal. This wasn't your bulge, and it wasn't normal, and it _hurt_ now. Why did it _hurt_?

You turned off the trap and rushed out of it, the cooler air around you prickling at your skin. You had to find Dave. You had to ask him what was _wrong_ with you.

You were just about to storm out of the room when you noticed another person out of the corner of your eye. As you turned to them, you realized it was you, your reflection in a mirror. You stared at it, mouth gaping. Your hair was...light, almost white even, not black like it should be. Your hair was like Dave's hair.

Why was your hair like Dave's hair?

Why were your eyes white? Why were they white and _orange_? Were you an adult?

Why were your fangs flat and dull?

Why didn't you have leg scars?

Your skin, your claws, your...bulge, or whatever it was. What the hell _was_ all of this? What was _wrong_ with you?

Before you even knew what you were doing, you had punched the mirror, shattering it into a hundred shimmering pieces. Your knuckles ached, a warm liquid seeped between your fingers. Your breath hitched in your throat, tears stinging your eyes, your bloodpusher about ready to explode.

Why didn't your blood match your eye color?

A sharp knock came at the door. “Yo, what the hell are you doing in there?”

You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you rocked yourself.

“I don't know,” you cried. “I just...I feel sick. My stomach...I need something to eat. I need a grubwich or something.”

You heard a muffled sigh. “I don't have grubwiches.”

“Well why the FUCK NOT?!” you shouted, tears steadily streaming down your face.

“Woah, dude, are you okay?” Dave asked as he slowly opened the door, voice full of concern.

You can only imagine how you looked to him curled into yourself on the floor, bleeding horrible bright red blood all over yourself, colorless tears dripping from your weird orange eyes, your unusual bulge still mostly stiff and leaking that colorless fluid that may or may not have been your genetic material depending on if it was actually your bulge and not just like...an oddly sentient tumor or something. You cried. You cried so hard your chest hurt.

Dave's arms were around your shoulders a moment later and he shook you softly. “Bro, come on. What's wrong? Fucking talk to me here.”

You hiccuped, gasped for breath that wouldn't come. He smoothed your hair down, attempted to soothe you. You sniffled, but nothing could clear out the mess that was running from your sniffnodes. You hiccuped and coughed, trying to regain the cool that you had so masterfully lost.

“What,” you started before bursting into another fit of hiccups. “What the hell is _wrong_ with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates for this fic will probably be slow because both me and my beta'r have schoolwork to deal with, but it will be updated.
> 
> Also special ilu to my beta'r for suggesting that Dirk should feel up his asshole in the shower, because then I was like "Dirk should TOTALLY feel up his asshole in the shower", and then I made him feel up his asshole in the shower. You're all welcome for me listening to her wonderful suggestion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk attempts to deal with life. It doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your continued patience! I promise I am still writing this!

You didn't know how long it had taken for Dave to calm you down. He had eventually made you what he called a “sandwich”, but it was so obviously a grubwich that you didn't know why he had lied to you and upset you so much. At least he had seemed remorseful about it.

That night you had slept huddled up on the couch in a pile of blankets and pillows. Dave had insisted you only needed one of each, but you refused to sleep with no less than four of each. Dave had been annoyed when you started stealing pillows from his bed, but he tried to be as accommodating as he could after your meltdown.

Sleeping had been...difficult. You were so tense in your own skin, and Dave didn't have any answers for you. The only thing he could do to calm you was repeatedly say “We'll go to the lab in the morning”, like the girls there would have all of the answers. You already knew they didn't; they had said as much when you first woke up there, but you were still feverishly hopeful that they would know what to do. Waking up hadn't been any easier because the thing Dave had informed you was your dick had been mostly erect and throbbing a little. You knew that it wanted to be rubbed, but you just really didn't want to touch the...unnatural body you had.

Walking to the lab had been the worst experience. Dave hadn't even woken up until the sun had been up for quite a while, so there had actually been people and trolls out on the street, and they _stared_. Your think pan kept attempting to remind you it was only because you were a new face, but your instincts were screaming “threat” at you so badly that you couldn't stop looking around warily, shoulders hunched and eyes darting. Dave had kept a hand on your shoulder, but it didn't calm you. There were unfamiliar trolls around; a shorter one with pathetically tiny nub horns, and a large muscular one with one horn broken off halfway down. You were especially frightened of him.

There had been one last troll you saw as you were entering the laboratory. He was huddled over a desk in some smaller room down the hall that was filled, oddly enough, with beehives. He had four horns, oddly colored glasses, and he seemed to be muttering to himself as he worked with some electronics. “Laptop” your mind whispered, even as it growled “husktop”. He glanced up at you and Dave briefly, and though you flinched under his red-blue gaze, you had a feeling in the back of your think pan that he wasn't dangerous. Or...at least not particularly dangerous. Probably.

And then you were sitting on a chair in the same room you had woken up in, only now you could see all of it. It was full of computer screens, which would explain why it had been so bright. There were also various tables and benches, jars of various sizes, and just...weird science things everywhere. Things you couldn't possibly understand. Large glass tubes with thick wires. Nobs and dials everywhere. You hoped the people who used them understood them at least.

Rose was watching you with a faint smile on her lips, the troll Kanaya standing next to her, also smiling at you. It made you nervous, like they could see inside your head. You slouched down in your chair, watching them warily as you listened to Dave recount all of the things that were wrong with you to Jade. It made you feel like a completely competent and rational person, except for how it didn't do that at all and you kind of wanted to crawl away and cry silently.

“Jade, I'm telling you, there's something wrong with him,” Dave insisted, arms crossed over his chest in irritation. Jade at least had enough sense to glare at him for his lack of discretion. “He flipped the fuck out and broke a mirror when he saw his reflection, he's confused by his anatomy, he kept asking for grubwiches, and he practically fucking fought me when I told him he couldn't sleep in Eridan's recuperacoon. What the fuck did you _do_?”

Jade sighed as she leaned against a computer console not currently in use. She looked at you, as though she was trying to figure out a puzzle, but the only answer she came up with was a sad smile.

“We really don't know,” she said, returning her attention to Dave. “We didn't expect there to be so much...trauma. He turned out so normal looking. We thought it was a big success!”

“Well congratu-fucking-lations, you failed,” Dave shouted, getting frustrated. “So how are you going to fix it?”

You did your best to blink back tears, but a few trickled down your cheeks. You weren't even sad, mostly just afraid. You didn't even really know what you had done, but you didn't belong somehow. It was irrational and stupid, but your think pan began to think of culling, and the fear of being culled was bubbling up inside your chest, quickening your pulse.

“There's nothing to fix, Dave!” Jade shouted angrily. “He's a person! You don't just _fix_ people who don't act the way you think they should! He's new and he needs to be taught how to act. That's all.”

“Don't fucking bullshit me, Harley,” Dave shouted back, equally angry. “This isn't some life-newbie problem. He knows shit he shouldn't know, and doesn't know shit he _should_ know. Why the fuck does he think he sleeps in a recuperacoon? And why the fuck is he afraid of his own skin?”

“He thinks he's a troll,” said Rose, a knowing smile playing across her face.

You only just stopped yourself from gasping. You didn't know why, but what she said felt right somehow.

“How the fuck is that even possible?” Dave asked as he turned to face her. “He's obviously human.”

“No, not quite,” Rose responded. “He's part troll, don't forget. Though he has the outward appearance of a human, that doesn't mean he has the mind of one.”

“It makes sense,” Kanaya said as she nodded in agreement. “Trolls are instinctual. The only reason those of us who survived the game are as calm as we are is that we have had years of effort to control those urges.”

She turned and looked at you, eyes sad but compassionate. “This little one has had no guidance. He's almost an adult, and he has no experience in tempering himself. His troll instincts would easily win out over any human thoughts he may have.”

Dave shrugged. “Explains why he called the shower an 'ablution trap', I guess.”

And a cautious smile spread across your face. Sure, you had spent the past 24 hours damn near perpetually annoying the hell out of your pseudo-bro, but at least there wasn't anything actually _wrong_ with you.

“He just has to learn to keep his instincts under control,” Jade said, all smiles and excitement. “And since you were being such a jerk about this, you get to teach him.”

Dave sighed, but nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I'll train him to be a cool guy. Not as cool as me, of course, because that's just not fucking possible...but I'll get his shit sorted out.”

You felt so much happier than you had since you first gained consciousness. The fact that you had only come into existence a day prior was pretty serious news, but your think pan refused to acknowledge it. That was too much to deal with. The fact that you were a fully functioning...er, human, was the only thing that mattered. Everything else could kiss your mental ass for the moment.

The last thing you saw before leaving the lab was the four-horned troll staring at you, but you were too relieved to feel afraid. You flashed a smile at him, as cool as you could muster, and the faint blush you received in response caused a pressure in your chest that wasn't unpleasant.

You hoped that would be the end of your frustrations, but it ended up only being the beginning.

As it turned out, your behavior was far beyond what anyone was prepared to accept. Not that you could help it.

It was your aggression. You couldn't help it, no matter how much your mind whispered for you to relax. Your surroundings were still so unfamiliar, and it had you on edge. The first incident had been with a troll you later learned was named Karkat. You had been exploring the town and accidentally bumped into him. He started shouting, you felt threatened, and the next thing you knew Dave was trying to pry your fingers from his throat, and there was some blood dripping from Karkat's lip that you were pretty sure hadn't been there before, but you couldn't say for sure.

Dave had dragged you back to the lab almost immediately, attempting to force you to talk to Rose again, like she would fix you just by talking to you. Your think pan had supplied you with mental images of therapy, but the thought of sharing your feelings with someone who wasn't your moirail was just...wrong.

Two days later you were being yelled at for going on a particularly overzealous hunting expedition. Apparently the part of you that was human made it difficult for you to recognize a lusus, and you had taken out a handful of them. You hadn't seen the problem with that because no one was _using_ a lusus, but Kanaya still took offense. The fact that you had left another dozen or so regular beasts to die in pools of their own blood didn't seem to help, especially since no one had asked you to go hunting to begin with.

They gave up on trying to talk to you, and resorted to poking and prodding at you instead; blood tests and brain scans, they called them. Your think pan supplied you with thoughts of mind-altering pharmaceuticals, and you grimaced at the thought. You didn't know how they would accomplish alchemizing such a thing anyway. They weren't exactly experts on it.

The only good thing that had come from it was seeing the four-horned troll some more; Sollux. You never saw him outside of the lab, and even though you wanted to meet the troll, but not if it meant voluntarily going to the lab. It had been half a week since you had acknowledged each other from down a hall, and your curiosity about him was growing stronger each day.

Then one day you discovered the only whole sword in Dave's hive: an awesomely shitty katana. You may have gotten a little bit excited about the discovery, and some furniture may not have survived. Specifically the kitchen table, all of the kitchen chairs, some cabinet doors, half of Dave's bed (but all of his pillows and blankets), the top part of the comfy living room chair, and a rug or two.

Dave was spending so much time in a screaming match with Jade and Rose about what to do with you that you managed to sneak out of the room unnoticed.

You slumped against the wall out in the empty hallway, not really knowing what to do. It wasn't that you didn't feel remorseful, because you did...sometimes...sort of, but you just didn't know how to fix what everyone thought was wrong with you. And it didn't help that, if you were really honest with yourself, you didn't really think anything _was_ wrong with you. Why did everyone else get to be who they were, but you had to become something you weren't? It was just confusing, and your think pan throbbed with how often questions like these had been kicking around in it.

What hurt even worse was that Dave just didn't seem to like you. It probably wasn't easy for him to live with you (the amount of shouting he did told you that much), but he had called you his _bro_ , and you guessed you thought that had meant something. Like that he would accept you regardless of what you did. Or at least be patient with you until you figured out who you were. They had all had years of growing and experience to get to where they were. Catching up so quickly was proving to be difficult.

A stream of agitated cursing tore you away from your thoughts, and bright white sparks lit up that little room down the hall that had been in your thoughts so often recently. A grin slowly spread across your face; here was your chance. You headed towards Sollux's room, forcing yourself to walk calmly despite the eagerness boiling up in your chest. You were meeting someone new. You had to act your coolest.

Whatever catastrophe had driven Sollux to anger had already subsided by the time you reached his doorway, though he was still visibly agitated. He was also completely absorbed in the smoking laptop in front of him, trying to patch it up but failing miserably. He didn't even notice you lean against the door frame until you cleared your throat and shot him a toothy grin. The mustard blush that instantly rose in his cheeks was an even better sight up close.

“Hey,” you drawled in the coolest cool-guy voice imaginable. “I'm Dirk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates have been slow, I know, because I have decided to try my hand at original porny stories that I might possibly attempt to self-publish and hopefully pay off student loans. REST ASSURED, I will not stop writing Homestuck fic until the full story arc for this series has been completed, which means three more installments after this one is finished. It will happen, I will not let myself give up on this, and I appreciate everyone who has commented previously in support of me taking my time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk chats up a stranger and has some awkward feelings in his pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your continued patience! I swear I love you all!

“I know,” said Sollux before busying himself with the laptop again, the flush in his face slowly fading.

You couldn't help but be taken completely off guard. “You...you know who I am?”

Sollux scoffed as he peered at you over his glasses. “Everyone hath only been shouting your name up and down the hallth for the patht fucking week. Tho, yeah, I know who you are.”

It was your turn to blush. “I'm, uh...I'm not actually as bad as they make it sound.”

You swore he could see through your just as much as Rose could as he gave you a good long stare.

“Yeth you are,” he responded as he leaned against his desk. “But who giveth a fuck?”

Your jaw hung open a bit. Every human and troll you had met so far had spent almost all of their time trying to make you understand just how broken you were, and the rest of their time trying to fix it. Apparently Sollux wasn't into doing that? The realization made you feel a lot more relaxed.

Sollux stood watching you in silence before turning back to the smoldering heap of plastic in front of him, unscrewing the outer shell of it piece by piece. You scooted quietly behind him to watch him over his shoulder, and he tensed from your close proximity. You hoped you weren't giving off any threatening signals. Lowbloods were pretty powerful, and you didn't need Sollux jumping you. Dave had taken the katana away from you, so there was no way you wouldn't get your ass kicked. Fortunately, Sollux gave a deep sigh and relaxed, though the flush returned to his cheeks.

The inside of the laptop was a mess. You didn't know what had happened to it, but some things were melted and other things were smoking, and a couple things were even sparking. You weren't an expert, but things didn't look good.

“Thith ithn't thalvageable,” Sollux grumbled in irritation, then unceremoniously hurled the smoking husk across the room to shatter against the wall, and you jumped back in spite of yourself.

“What happened?” you asked.

Sollux groaned and slammed his head against his desk a few times, the air around him crackling with some sort of unseen energy. “I wath trying to write a new program the girlth could uthe to keep track of their exthperimenth.” He looked over at you, forehead still touching the table. “Tho of courthe it didn't fucking work.”

He looked and sounded pretty anguished about it. It was kind of sad in an overly dramatic sort of way, like maybe he shouldn't be so hard on himself for it? It was kind of pitiful.

“You can make programs?” you asked, ignoring the explosion in favor of being impressed.

Sollux scoffed and sat upright. “Generally, yeah. I'm the mathter of computerth around here. Why the fuck do you think I have all of these hiveth in here?”

You had forgotten about the beehives, actually. It was weird how terrible you were at noticing everything else once you were focused in on someone. The walls of the room were lined with the things, and wires snaked out from them and along the floor, some ending in the backs of electronics and some going off through holes in the walls to who knew where (aside from Sollux). Now that you were really getting a good look at them, you could even see that there were small insects buzzing around them, although they didn't really look like bees. In fact, they looked almost...lost, if an insect could look lost. They just floated around aimlessly, not fussing with the hives at all, as though they didn't really belong there.

Corners of the room that weren't full of sticky hives contained piles of random bits of metal and plastic, obviously where all the trashed parts ended up. The clutter seemed unnecessary to you, but maybe alchemizing was easier when you had physical parts? You had no idea. You didn't have a craft you were good at. In fact, you were pretty much useless to society at this point. Unless...

“Can you teach me how to write programs?” you asked, a hopeful grin plastering your face.

Sollux quirked an eyebrow at you. “I gueth. Do you even know how to uthe a computer?”

Oh, right. That would be helpful. “I can learn, no problem.”

Sollux sneered. “I'm not looking to teach thome idiot the bathicth here.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, somewhat petulantly. “Hey, I'm not stupid. I can figure that shit out on my own.”

Sollux chuckled. “Oh, I'm tho fucking thure, but maybe you should prove it firtht before I wathte my time on you?”

You could feel your blood boiling. “I'll fucking show you. Give me a laptop.”

“Fuck no. I jutht blew three of them up today,” he said as he flashed you an obnoxious shit-eating grin, his inordinate number of fangs in full view. “I can't keep alchemizing new oneth all the fucking time. Find one yourthelf.”

You stomped over to the desk and leaned over it, glaring at him hard, though he probably couldn't even tell with your shades and all. Even so, you should have been fairly threatening looking, but there he went blushing again as he leaned back in his chair.

“I'll find one,” you said in a deep, hushed tone. “I'll find one, and I will learn the shit out of that thing, and you'll be so impressed that you'll beg me to let you teach me how to program.”

His mustard flush deepened, but a sly smile slowly spread across his face. “I'm fucking looking forward to it. I hope I thee you back here thoon.”

Oh, right.

“Uh, actually, I don't like coming here,” you said, yet again losing your grip on the cool guy persona you had been trying to master. “So...can you meet me somewhere else so I can rub my future computer skills in your face?”

Sollux stared at you for half a second before he burst into laughter.

“Come here,” he said as he stood and gestured for you to follow him.

He led you over to the far wall where some particularly large beehives were humming (or buzzing, maybe was more appropriate?) away. You were trying to figure out why the hell you were supposed to care about them when you noticed one column of comb was not as sticky as the rest. Sollux grabbed the side of it and firmly pushed it aside, causing it to swing outwards on some hinge that was so well hidden that you hadn't even noticed it. Behind it was a hallway, dark except for a faint glimmer of light some ways ahead of you. You could hear a soft, repetitive clanging sound that seemed to be coming from the same direction as the light.

“So,” you said, forcing your most unimpressed tone possible, “you program this too?”

Sollux gave an irritated growl. “I don't like being around everyone elthe all the fucking time. Thith ith a back way in.”

Okay, now you were suitably impressed. You took a few steps into the hallway. It was a somewhat narrow space, but having the walls so close would make it easier to navigate the dimly lit hall.

“So the exit is where that is?” you asked as you pointed in that direction.

“No, that'th the other guy'th room. The way out ith jutht to the left halfway down. I'll show you.”

He squeezed past and led you down the hall, moving much faster than you felt comfortable doing. It crossed your mind that you could take off your shades to see a bit better, but you immediately threw that thought out. You couldn't say why exactly, but your shades felt like a protective barrier of sorts, like they might hold back all of the feelings everyone kept expecting you to deal with without actually telling you how. You just had to figure out how to fully utilize that barrier.

Halfway down the hall, Sollux disappeared into an even darker hallway to the left, and try as you might, you couldn't navigate it with shades. You removed them hesitantly, feeling like you were giving up on keeping up this cool-kid facade you had been trying to cultivate. A _true_ coolkid would have kept staggering along in the dark.

It made you a lot more nervous than you had anticipated, but at least you were able to see Sollux's outline well enough to continue following him, right up until he stopped walking and you bumped full into him, eliciting more of that weirdly enjoyable pressure you had felt the first day you saw him.

“Uh, sorry,” you said, feeling you cheeks burn, but Sollux didn't respond. He was pushing against the wall that had halted you so suddenly, and a second later sunlight began streaming in through a growing crack in the wall. It was another hidden door. This troll was crafty.

He was also staring at you.

Oh, _fuck_ , you still had your shades off.

You almost dropped the damn things with how quickly you fumbled to get them back on your face. Now your cheeks were _really_ burning, and your pulse was racing like an enraged hoofbeast, and you had no idea why any of those things were the way they were, but you wished it would stop. Sollux cocked a half-smile at you, and the enjoyable pressure you had been feeling a moment ago melted away to a twisting agony in your chest. Was your discomfort funny to him?

He stepped aside, making room for you to exit the building. “Hey, don't worry about it,” he said.

You gave him a confused look, although he might not have seen it since your glasses were firmly in place.

He gave you a toothy grin as he put a hand on your shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. “It'th only uth lowbloodth here. You can let your eyeth show.”

You wished you knew how people seemed to know your mind better than you did sometimes, but you nodded and slowly took your shades off again, folding them up and hooking them over the neck of your t-shirt. You felt horribly awkward, like you were waiting for some sort of indication from Sollux that this really was okay. You were supposed to be cool. Why were you so bad at being who you were supposed to be?

“Bronzeblood?” he asked you nonchalantly.

“Uh, no,” you mumbled. “It's more like rust, just...brighter.”

Sollux nodded. “I know thomeone like that. He'th a generally well-acthepted guy, when he'th not being a mathive athhole. Thoundth familiar, huh?”

You couldn't help your lips curling up into a grin, even as your nerves kept you rooted in place, every fiber of your being trying to keep you from freaking out over letting your eye color show.

Which was why it took you a moment to realize Sollux was standing incredibly close to you. Your body had already been firing off warnings at having your blood color (sort of) on display, but now your bloodpusher was in overdrive, your cheeks flushed bright red, and there was this stirring in your groin that you _really_ didn't want to be happening in public like this.

Sollux's gaze darted from your body to your eyes, his breath a little shallow. You wished you knew what was going on. Was this a threat? Should you run? And why the hell was your bulge starting to twitch?!

Sollux's ganderbulbs pierced into yours for the briefest of moments before he flashed you a sly smile. “I'm not a threat to you, tho don't run off yet.” Oh _fuck_ , he was psychic or something and you were thinking about your bulge (or dick, or whatever!) twitching, _fuck_. “You don't have to hide who you are around me. I won't judge you.”

Your breath caught in your throat as he pressed his lips against yours. They were soft ,yet rough, and his fangs pricked your lower lip just a little, and you got a taste of blood, and your dick-bulge twitched harder, and oh god, how were you supposed to handle this? Your head hurt. This was too much!

And just like that, Sollux pulled away and turned back down the hallway without another word. You slumped against the wall, pressing a finger to your bloody lip as you tried to steady your breath. That had been horrifying. Your body was shaking despite being bathed in warm sunlight. The weird stirring that had been happening in your pants had died off to an odd feeling of need, and you realized you kind of wished you were still close to the troll that had just moments before been putting your thinkpan on the highest of threat alerts. Oh shit. Sollux was flushed for you. He had barely even met you and he was flushed for you.

And, actually...you were kind of flushed for him too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk discovers he has mad computer skills, and a mad lack of social skills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said this fic isn't dead and I haven't abandoned it?
> 
> SURPRISE! I WASN'T LYING!

As it turned out, you were a master of computers. You learned the in's-and-out's of the hardware and software in just a couple days, and had already started programming things before you even thought to go back to Sollux and take him up on some lessons. In a particularly awesome turn of events, Dave had gladly given his laptop to you. You had honestly expected you'd have to steal it, but he had practically tripped over himself putting that thing in your hands. At first you thought he might have been attempting to make nice with you, or that he might have even been impressed that you had found a useful skill that you were really good at, but you quickly realized he was just enjoying that you had something to keep you busy and out of his hair. Discovering that his “gift” was practically a glorified human babysitter had soured your excitement over programming a really basic auto-responder, so you stole Dave's iShades and used them to turn your own shades into a computer. Dave had not been even the slightest bit pleased about that, but at least you had given him his laptop back. You weren't as bad as he was always making you out as.

You were sitting on the couch working on your auto-responder's programming one afternoon when Dave trudged downstairs after just waking up and threw a red jacket at your face. You groaned in frustration as you straightened your shades and rubbed the spot on your forehead that had been smacked by the jacket's zipper. He wasn't wearing his shades, so you could plainly see he wasn't happy.

“What the hell was that for?” you asked, irritated. You hadn't even said anything to Dave yet today. There was no reason for him to be getting hostile already.

“Out,” was all he said in response, a commanding tone to his voice.

You gave an exasperated scoff. “But I didn't do anything!”

Dave leveled an angry stare at you. “Is that so? Because it seems to be you've been doing a _lot_ of something. In fact, you've been doing a lot of something all within a fucking week. I'm about ready to alchemize a medal and bake a cake that says 'New Universe's Douchiest Resident' in your honor, and that's really fucking saying something seeing as how we've got the likes of Sollux living with us.”

You felt your face burn as a sudden burst of indignation pulsed through you. “You don't know what the fuck you're talking about.”

Dave scoffed and crossed his arms. “Oh don't I? Seems to me I might know what the fuck I'm talking about seeing as how I've known the guy longer, but whatever the fuck you say, _bro_.”

The way he said the nickname had so much bite that it practically physically stung. You fidgeted with the jacket in your lap as you slumped back against the couch cushions, aware that Dave was still waiting for you to leave. His frustration got the better of him, and he grabbed you by your shirt collar and hauled you up off the couch, giving you a shove towards the kitchen.

“Look, someone really fucking important is supposed to be getting back tonight,” he said, making it obvious to you that you were _not_ an important person, “and I really need you to not be here to fuck anything up.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to go?” you asked, matching the anger in his tone.

“Don't know, don't care,” Dave said with a shrug. “Just get out.”

You kind of wanted to cry, and kind of hated yourself for it. You really wished the things Dave said didn't have such an effect on you. You hung your head and scuffed your sneaker against the floor. “Can I come back tomorrow?”

Dave sighed in frustration. “We'll worry about that when we fucking get there.”

“Right,” you said with a sullen nod, your voice a hoarse whisper. You turned and left.

The sun was high in the sky, but it was still a little chilly out for whatever time of year it was. The weather had turned to frequent rain, and the temperature had fallen with the raindrops. You didn't really feel like wearing the bright red jacket though. The thought of sporting Dave's trademark color put a sour taste in your mouth, so you tossed it in a puddle and made your way towards town.

There was no one on the streets, thankfully. You would at least be able to avoid the daily ritual of getting sideways glances and sometimes outright stares. Everyone was always trying to determine when you would snap and attempt to assert dominance or whatever bullshit everyone was always telling you young trolls usually did. Not that you were a troll. Not that you were really human either.

Everyone was busy with whatever things they did all day. You were the only one who hadn't found a way to be a productive member of society, let alone a regular member. They didn't even allow you to show them what you might be capable of, which was what got to you the most. Everyone just saw your past mistakes, and yeah, they were all within a single week, but you didn't think that should cement your reputation forever.

It really sucked. You wished you could keep yourself under control, but you honestly didn't even notice when the more aggressive side of you took over. It was such a sudden switch, like you had _always_ had that angry troll part in charge of your thinkpan. And when you'd became calm again, it was as though you had always had a mellow human brain. You really wished the two would meet somewhere in the middle and make your life easier already. You felt as impatient about everyone else did about you growing into a stable personality.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the realization that you were standing in front of the lab, which probably shouldn't have been that much of a surprise. Yeah, you hated going there, but there was something worth visiting in there now. It was just kind of strange that your feet would subconsciously take you there. You hadn't seen Sollux in a few days. Aside from wanting to learn computer basics on your own, the kiss he had given you made you feel a lot more nervous than you wanted to let on. Just thinking about it was enough to make a tingling warmth pool in your groin, and it was making things increasingly awkward for you. You weren't used to the idea of...sex stuff. You had really only just found out about it from the most uncomfortable conversation you had ever had with Dave. There was no doubt the digs he was making at Sollux were because he knew why you had asked him about...about sex. God, you could feel your cheeks burning just _remembering_ all of it.

Well, you needed to go somewhere, and there really was only one place you would willingly like to go. You headed around the back of the lab to the secret entrance Sollux had showed you.

It took you a while to find it. You hadn't actually stopped to see what it looked like from the outside, and apparently it was really well hidden. You did eventually manage to discover it and, after a moment of fumbling, even managed to open it. The sunlight streamed in from behind you and lit up the corridor just enough to see a figure down at the end of it. You thought it might have been Sollux for a moment, but then you noticed it only had two horns, and one of those horns was broken. The troll paused and stared at the open doorway for just a moment before stalking off to the room Sollux had said was “the other guy's”. You weren't a genius or anything, but you would have to guess you had just seen the other guy and, holy shit, was he built. Like _really_ built. He was built like...okay, well, you couldn't think of what he was built like, but he was definitely built like it.

You were a little surprised to find that Sollux wasn't in his room. You had kind of assumed he just lived in there, which was stupidity on your part. He really did seem like the kind of emotional shut-in that would just curl up next to his hive servers and take a fitful nap for a couple hours before waking back up in a confused daze and angrily pounding out a few more rows of code or something. You hadn't really put much thought into it.

That line of thought was quickly derailed by something large, metal, and definitely new standing in the corner of the room. That definitely had not been there before. You couldn't really say what it was. A statue maybe? But it had joints, so possibly...a robot? Your mind seemed to agree with that word, so, yeah, robot. But the _shape_ of it. It had four legs, but also a sculpted torso, and a regular head? What the hell? You imagined that if it was made of flesh, it's long, thick body would be just packed with muscles, and the torso and arms too. Big, beefy arms. Holy shit. You hesitantly reached out and pressed your hand against the thing's...chest? It was smooth and cool, just like you expected metal would feel. In fact, it felt very, _very_ cool against your skin, which was suddenly heating up rather quickly. Your bloodpusher was getting a little excited at this...whatever it was in front of you. Something about the shape of it, the insinuation of powerful muscles stretching and flexing...

Holy shit. You knew what the other guy was built like. He was built like _this_. He was built like whatever this thing was! That thought was more arousing than it should have been. Jeez, why the hell were you so worked up today?

Well, actually, you were pretty excited about seeing Sollux again, you guessed. But thinking about the other guy should not have such an effect on you!

“Where did you come from?”

You damn near jumped out of your skin as you ripped your hand away from the robot and spun around, finding Sollux standing in the doorway and giving you this half-cocked grin as he folded his arms over his chest. Your bloodpusher thudded against your ribs like you had been caught doing something inappropriate, which was ridiculous, wasn't it? Well, okay, the warmth stirring in your groin suggested that maybe you had been doing something inappropriate, but that was bringing up questions more than answers. For instance, why the hell did touching a robot get your dick-bulge twitching?! Uh, but the shape of it...

You snapped your thinkpan back to attention, your cheeks beginning to burn under Sollux's heavy-lidded gaze, which did not help with what was going on in your pants. You swallowed and attempted to calm down. There was no way Sollux could know that looking at and touching a rather beautifully shaped robot had gotten you excited in your...downstairs region. Or could he? He was psychic. Could he read minds? Oh god, oh god.

“Uh” was the only thing you managed to force yourself to say in response, then you glanced over at the robot before you even realized you were sneaking another peek at it.

Sollux chuckled as he approached you. “I see you've found Equiuth' hoofbeatht robot.”

You weren't a genius or anything, but you would have to guess Equius was the other guy. And a hoofbeast was apparently something you were sexually attracted to in some way. Awesome.

“What's uh,” you stuttered out, still trying to calm your nerves way the hell down. “What's it doing in here?”

Sollux sighed as he looked the massive thing over. “He buildth them and I program them.”

It might have been because of where your mind had went when you first saw the robot, but the thought of Sollux programming it was making your situation _much_ worse. “What do you program them to do?”

“Mmm, bathic care thtuff. Food and cleaning,” he said, and the way his half-cocked grin grew to show a bit of fang had you worried he had guessed what you thought it was for. “Like a butler.”

You exhaled in relief, but you were also kind of surprised at the tiny pocket of disappointment that bubbled up in your chest. Seriously, why the hell were you so worked up today?

Sollux's toothy grin spread even wider as he gave your whole body a once over, looking almost predatory, and you realized it wouldn't take a psychic to see how completely on edge you were at that exact moment. Your cheeks still burned a bit, every muscle in your body seemed to be as stiff as physically possible, and you hadn't taken a full breath in what felt like an hour. But it was impossible to relax when Sollux was standing so close, and looking at you so intensely, and just...shit.

“Tho,” he said, and he just kept grinning at you as he leveled you with that heavy gaze. “What bringth you here?”

And that was all it took to settle your nerves. Your bloodpusher plummeted down out of your throat as you sighed and stared at your feet. “I got kicked out for the day. Or forever. I don't really know yet.”

You couldn't see Sollux's expression, but you were certain it had changed to one of concern. The air was just filled with a different sort of energy now, heavy and a little angry where everything had been warm and tingly a moment ago. Then Sollux had an arm around your shoulders, and the flush crept back into your cheeks as you looked up to see him smiling at you. His arm against you felt incredibly warm, almost overwhelmingly so, and your chest and stomach felt like they were stuffed full of fluttering wings like...like screw winged animal similes, that's what it was like.

“Fuck him,” he said, and despite how simple a statement it was, it worked surprisingly well at cheering you up. You smiled softly at him. “How are your computer thkillth coming along?”

Your face lit up, big smile and all, for just a second before you reigned your expression into a cocky grin. “Oh, you know, not too bad. Programming an auto-responder. No big deal.”

Sollux sputtered as his eyebrows shot up in the most incredulous expression you had ever seen, although considering you had only been seeing expressions for a couple weeks now, it wasn't actually that big of an accomplishment.

“How the fuck?” he shouted as he pulled away from you, presumably so he could more easily stare at you in total disbelief.

You shrugged like it was no big deal, upping your cool guy points by at least a thousand, and stuck your hands in your pockets as you leaned back against the robot, nonchalant as hell. “You know, just messing around on Dave's laptop and just figuring stuff out like a wizard. Whatever, man. I'm no more of a genius than anyone else.”

Sollux's gaze narrowed almost immediately. “Show me.”

Shit. Couldn't you just be the cool guy for longer than two seconds for once? Why was it such a hard act to keep up? You stammered out a quick “I can't” and Sollux slipped back into the same shit-eating grin he had been periodically giving you since the moment you met him.

“Becauthe you don't actually have an auto-rethponder,” he said matter-of-factly.

“No,” you said, a little more harshly than you meant to. “I just uh...I made my shades into my computer? So I can't really show you my code.”

You didn't know for sure, but you were pretty sure Sollux had burst a vessel in his thinkpan at that. The room crackled with unseen electricity that still somehow had a physical sensation for about half a second as this ridiculously vibrant mustard blush bloomed under eyes so wide that you could actually see hints of red and blue over the narrow glasses he wore.

“You're kidding,” he said, and it was almost a whisper full of awe, possibly even respect?

Holy shit, Sollux was impressed with you.

And holy shit, it made your cheeks burn and the obnoxious winged creature simile in your chest become at least three times more obnoxious and winged.

And somehow it seemed to be having the same effect on Sollux, which was the weirdest part because he was the one feeling impressed with your intelligence, not the other way around, and _oh fuck_ how did you not figure it out sooner?

Sollux was standing so close you could feel the heat of his body against yours, and every single one of your senses started going into overdrive. Not threat mode but something else. Something that would have been equally terrifying as being under threat if things down in your pants weren't feeling kind of warm and good at the moment. You swallowed and tried to back away, but of course you had stupidly put your back up against an immovable robot and now you were simultaneously stuck with that decision and stuck in place and Sollux looked like he might actually eat the skin right off of your face or some equally oddly arousing shit, but instead he stared into your shades. You thought he was trying to see your eyes for just a moment before you realized that he was trying to see your computer shades in action, not realizing you didn't have them turned on.

“Show me,” he said in that husky, almost whisper voice again, and you just barely managed to stifle the whine that bubbled up in your throat.

You pulled the shades off slowly, pressing a tiny button on one of the arm hinges before handing them to Sollux. He placed them over his own glasses almost reverently, watching the blinking cursor before his eyes as the flush in his cheeks somehow managed to deepen, and this weird pulsing sensation started to creep over you, like all of the air in the room had suddenly come alive and was also trying to feel you up. Psionics. Another thing you should have figured out sooner.

“How doeth it work?” he asked, still using that almost-whisper that was doing just horribly wonderful things to your groin.

You saw the orange text scrawl across the shades before you could even respond.

> It seems you don't know how I work.

> Should I explain it to you myself, or let the code-wizard who created me impress you with his genius himself?

Sollux's jaw dropped as he stepped back just a fraction of an inch. “Thith ithn't an auto-rethponder. It'th a fucking AI. How the fuck did you program an AI?”

The distance was just enough to make all of the heat that had been between you dissipate, and you were frustrated and disappointed in spite of yourself. “I don't really know. I just sort of...coded.”

Sollux pulled your shades off gingerly as he stared at the orange text, body shaking like he was on the verge of having a slight mental nuclear meltdown, or maybe just seconds away from jumping your bulge. You found yourself hoping for the second option.

He held your shades up to you and looked into your eyes, coy smile gone, _dammit_ , though the look of awe was still firmly plastered on his face. “We're finding a way to plug thethe into my laptop, and I am looking at your code.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you're enjoying my fic'ing antics as much as I'm hoping you are, you should come follow me on the tumblrs so you can see me talk about how writing is hard and the various other fic ideas I have fighting their way to being written, and also I reblog some cool stuff that is also sometimes nsfw, and then also you can talk to me and asks me questions and stuff because I really enjoy talking to strangers on the internet. It makes me feel happy, especially at night when the soul-crippling loneliness and the obsession with mortality sets in. I swear I'm generally normal.
> 
>  
> 
> <http://daftalchemist.tumblr.com/>


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux gets hot and bothered about Dirk's programming skills, and Dirk gets hot and bothered by Sollux grinding against his dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS

It involved a lot of wire stripping and perhaps a little boost from psionic energy, but Sollux did manage to plug your shades into his laptop. You had no idea how exactly. You might've been good at code for unknowable reasons, but hardware still escaped you.

Sollux spent the next ten minutes or so engrossed in lines of code as an odd mix of pride and disappointment warred in your chest. Sollux's failed attempts to muffle small outbursts of “how” and “fuck” didn't help. You had kind of hoped he would be thrilled about your achievement. You were hoping to be useful to everyone, and it seemed like it would be even better if you could be useful to Sollux, but it was starting to seem like you were actually just causing a mess.

“I don't fucking underthtand!” he shouted, finally turning to look at you. “Thith ith...I don't even fucking know what thith ith!

You hung your head a bit, not really sure what to make of Sollux's reaction. You could see the bits of code he was pouring over on his laptop screen from where you were sitting on his desk. It didn't seem all that out of the ordinary to you, but, as usual, what was normal to you didn't appear to be the same to anyone else. You leaned back, bracing yourself with your hands behind you on the desk.

“Did I write the code wrong?” you asked, and internally cringed at how crestfallen your voice sounded.

“Well obviouthly not,” Sollux said with a half-cocked grin. “It fucking workth.”

“So then what's the problem?” you asked, and maybe threw in a teeny-tiny pout for an added bonus.

Sollux's expression softened almost immediately. “Thorry. There'th no problem. It'th jutht pretty weird that you did all thith on your own with tho little experienthe.” He glanced back at his laptop for a moment. “I think you created a new coding language, and you don't even know how you did it. Fuck, I don't even know how you did it.”

When he looked at you again, his his face was damn near beaming with happiness or admiration or _something_ equally awesome, and it would have been precious if it wasn't such a relief. Try as you might to keep your pouty guy look going, you couldn't stop the corners of your mouth from curling into a small grin.

“So are you impressed or jealous?” you asked, kicking your fee.

Sollux's smile grew until you could see damn near every fang in his mouth as he stood and leaned into you. “Can't I be both?”

Your heart practically leaped up into your throat and your voice came out surprisingly hoarse as you said “I can deal with both.”

His lips were pressed against yours the moment you stopped talking, and they were softer than you remembered from the brief kiss you had shared days before, probably because this time no feeling of being threatened flooding your system. You leaned into the kiss, and his tongue lapped against your bottom lip. It felt odd, though you couldn't but you finger on why, and you parted your lips as an invitation. Sollux wasted no time in plunging it into your mouth and wrapping his tongue around your own, and you startled yourself with your own moan and pulled back in embarrassment, cheeks burning red.

“Sorry,” you said, though it came out almost as a whisper, and hid your face behind your hand, pretending like you were just wiping saliva off your lips.

Sollux grinned and gently placed a hand on the back of your neck, rubbing his thumb against your skin in a circular motion. It was incredibly relaxing.

“Don't apologithe,” he said before pressing another kiss to your lips. “And don't hold back either. You're not doing anything wrong.”

You didn't even have time to respond before he was kissing you again, slow and controlled, easing you into it. You whimpered as he licked and sucked on your lower lip, and relished the shudder that shot through your body as he nibbled softly on it, though still not soft enough to keep his fangs from drawing pinpricks of blood. It hurt, but you barely registered the pain, or if you did you just enjoyed it too much to care.

Your insides twisted in confusion. This was new and different, and the way it made you feel frightened you a little, but the heat in your chest and groin was like a potent drug, and it just made you want more. You ran your hands through Sollux's hair and pulled him closer to you as you pressed your tongue into his mouth, loving the hell out of the way his fangs scraped over it, like every moment spent doing this was just walking a fine dangerous line, and if you lost your head long enough, you'd end up broken and bloodied. You felt ripples of psychic energy flow over you, centering heavily on your chest, and the little nubs on them you had learned were nipples. You didn't know if it was the energy itself that made them tingle with pleasure until they poked through your t-shirt, or if they were just that sensitive on their own, but you found yourself wondering what Sollux's psionics would feel like on other parts of you. It was fucking exhilarating.

Your hands eventually found his horns and you massaged the base of them, muffling Sollux's moan as you coaxed his tongue farther into your mouth to suck on it. He wavered for just a moment, knees wobbling, before leaning his whole body against you for support. Your dick-bulge twitched violently as he pressed against your, your legs straddled around his slender hips. You weren't an expert on your own physiology yet, but you assumed the twitching meant that it was becoming hard like it had in the shower. You were glad you couldn't see it happening this time because you didn't want to stop making out with Sollux to freak out about it. You still weren't entirely used to it.

The sensation of Sollux's actual troll bulge squirming just underneath his jeans pulled you from your thoughts, and you gripped his hips tightly as you pulled him against you harder, wanting to feel the thrashing of his bulge against the twitching of yours. He moaned as he wrapped an arm around you and leaned you back, supporting your weight easily despite how scrawny he looked, and rocked his hips against yours in a rhythmic motion. Your back arched suddenly, an instinctive muscle spasm you had no control over, and you gasped from the sensation of friction against your dick. It was overwhelming, nearly bringing tears to your eyes, and you didn't understand how Sollux managed to keep his cool and continue the motion, not even showing any sort of reaction except for chuckling softly against your neck before nipping from your shoulder to your jaw, chasing each bite with a tender kiss, sucking on the indents in a way that made them ache dully and burn wonderfully. It made you dizzy, and you threw your arms around Sollux's neck, scrabbling at his shirt for purchase, just trying to keep yourself grounded. You felt like you were falling and flying, and the delicious tightness in your groin was starting to unfurl, like a spring losing tension.

You whimpered Sollux's name into his ear as you gripped him tighter, your cock twitching erratically, aching for something more. Sollux moaned in response, his own bulge thrashing against his pants, and the next bite he made was harder. You hissed at the pain, and he sucked on the mark twice as hard, ripping a sob from your throat. Tears were in your eyes now, your thinkpan just completely frazzled, like live wires writhing around your skull and firing off nerves at random. The uncoiling sensation you had a moment ago had turned into more of a tightening sensation, as though whatever muscles had been relaxing a moment ago had gone “fuck that” and gotten back into the game. It made your dick ache, and you could feel a wet patch on your underwear, though you didn't know if it was from you or from the genetic material that was making everything slick between you and Sollux. It was ruining the friction, and you realized you were thrusting your hips against him in an effort to make up for it.

It was a little terrifying how you kept losing track of your own body because nothing good ever came from you losing control. People were injured, property was destroyed. But no matter how hard you tried to concentrate on any one sensation, it was immediately washed out by the wave of quaking pleasure that was your entire existence at that moment. You fisted your hands into Sollux's shirt, holding on as tightly as you could, but it didn't help. Nothing made the growing fear in your mind go away.

You felt Sollux's hand against your bare stomach and you choked back a sob as your hips reflexively hitched upwards against his. You didn't even know when he had gotten his hand under your shirt, but it was slipping under the hem of your pants now, and the tears that had been stinging your eyes were trickling freely down your cheeks, and his fingertips were brushing against the head of your cock, and everything was excruciatingly tense and you couldn't handle it. You cried out as you pushed Sollux away, just barely registering the look of shock on his face through vision blurred by tears. You wished you were still wearing your shades so he couldn't see how pathetic you looked. You must've been the most pitiful thing in existence.

Losing the closeness you had with Sollux had just made things worse. Your head felt like it was splitting apart, and your dick was throbbing so painfully that you would have thought it was angry to lose the contact against it if you hadn't already learned it wasn't a weirdly sentient tumor. But the worst part was the look of concern Sollux was giving you, especially when you were certain he had to be feeling almost the same sensations you were. The air was crackling with burst of psionic energy, uncontrolled and almost jagged as they snapped at your consciousness, demanding attention. You curled into yourself, wrapping your arms around your neck and lowering your head, just trying to force the tears and the shaking away. Sollux's hands were on your cheeks, attempting to shoosh you calm, but it didn't help. He was so fucking nice. Why was he so fucking nice? Didn't he know you had just fucked something up again? That he was supposed to be angry and kick you out?

His arms were wrapped tight around you and he rubbed your back in an effort to sooth you as he continued to shoosh you and insist that everything was okay. It was almost suffocating. You wished you could push past this. That you could come to terms with who you were, and just let yourself go. Let yourself feel something without worrying about what will happen. Just experience something for once, like everyone had already had so much time to do.

You did eventually start to calm down, the sobs that wracked your body fading away to hiccups and sniffling as you shivered in Sollux's arms. Your face was coated with trails of salty tears, and you were certain you looked like a fucking mess, but he still stroked your cheeks and softly kissed you over and over, giving you the kindest smile in between each one. You felt terrible for doing this to him, for making him have to take care of you. You were so lucky he had gone flushed for you rather than black, otherwise this situation could have been so much worse. You wrapped your hands around his and gave them a slight squeeze.

“I'm sorry, Sol,” you said, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. You licked your lips and swallowed, attempting to bring some moisture back to your throat, but it just wasn't happening. You ran a hand through your sweat-slicked hair and grabbed a handful of it, tugging slightly as though having a firm grasp on your head would stabilize your mind.

“Don't apologithe,” Sollux responded with a smile. “Thingth got out of hand. I shouldn't have fucking jumped you like that.” His cheeks colored that gorgeous mustard color. “I don't even know if you fucking pity me or not. I just kind of athumed and, ah, _fuck_!”

He stepped back and stared at the floor, his smile practically plummeting to a look of remorse. “I gueth if you didn't pity me already, you really fucking wouldn't now.”

“You're definitely pitiful,” you croaked out, your throat dry and even a bit painful, though the adorable grin that spread on Sollux's bright yellow face was enough to distract you from that fact. “But it's...it's just me. I just need some time.”

You sighed and stared at the ceiling, forcing away the urge to cry, and honestly hoping you wouldn't have any more tears anyway. You already felt like the most massive failure on the planet; there was no fucking need to make that worse. “I just need to figure out...myself.”

Sollux’s arm slipping around your shoulders jolted you back to reality, as well as the fact that Sollux had managed to sit on the desk next to you without you even noticing, like a goddamn ninja. He didn't say anything, just smiled, and you took that to mean he understood and didn't want to push the subject. You leaned your forehead against his, appreciating how perfect he was, and how much you didn't deserve to have such a perfect person flushed for you (though you supposed you couldn't really complain). But the way Sollux was leaning against the desk in such a way that the waning thrashing of his bulge was obvious against his soaking wet pants, and the partially stabbing, partially crushing pain that you felt in your chest told you that you couldn't stay here. You still felt like a disappointment for pushing him away, and you just needed some time to recuperate alone.

Sollux looked incredibly sad as you pulled away, but you promised you would talk to him tomorrow—though you didn't yet know if you would keep that promise—and left the lab through the hidden back door.

It was dark out, which was good because it hid the fact that your clothes were a sticky yellow mess, but it was cold, and the sticky mess didn't make that any better. You were suddenly aware of how exhausted you were and wondered briefly how late it was, or if it was only the day's events that had drained all of your energy. You trudged through the town, shivering as you attempted to your arms warm. It didn't help. You just needed to get rid of these clothes, get into bed, curl up under a blanket, and pretend like you wouldn't be waking up to your own failures the next day.

Your mind was a jumbled mess, and as a result you forgot that you weren't supposed to go back to Dave's house for the night, and the big, important VIP guest over that shouldn't have to be in your presence. The door was unlocked and the house was dark, so it must have been so late that even Dave had gone to bed. The blanket you had been using was shoved off to one side of the couch, but your pillow was nowhere in sight. You didn't feel like waking Dave up to steal one of his, so you shucked off your wet pants and underwear, hissing as the fabric brushed against your dick. It wasn't very hard, but it was still crazy stimulated, and even the soft touch of cloth was enough to bring all of those sensations from earlier stabbing back into your abdomen. You tossed the pants on the floor angrily, so frustrated with yourself for your apparent inability to allow yourself to get lost in Sollux's touch, before laying down with a huff and pulling the blanket over your head. The tears were coming back. Looked like you'd be crying yourself to sleep.

The thought that you had forgotten your shades at the lab flickered through your mind briefly before sleep took you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But seriously, this fic is fully written, but my beta has been busy with other things so it's been slow going on that front. PROMISE THIS SERIES ISN'T DEAD, FOR REALS.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk wakes up to an awkward situation and makes it a a little worse

You didn't know where you were, but you knew that it was somewhere warm. The air felt humid and heavy against you, pinning you in place, which wasn't a problem because you were being pressed against something so pliant, and yet so firm and supportive. You didn't know what it was though, because it was dark, fuck was it ever dark, and all of your senses felt like they were filtering through a foggy haze.

There was someone near you, with you. You could hear them moving, shuffling softly around you, the sound of clothes rustling indicating that it was a person. It should have put you on edge to be so close to someone unknown, especially since you couldn't move your limbs, but your body felt warm and comforted—relaxed in a way you hadn't been since you first gained consciousness—and your mind hummed with a mix of elation, and a delicious sensation of tension.

Something slick and burning hot pressed against your throat, and you shivered as a soft breath of air cooled the moisture on your skin. From somewhere off in the obscuring film that coated your consciousness, you thought you heard a throaty chuckle, harsh and edged with intent. It made you squirm instinctively as an almost overpowering heat began to pool in your abdomen. Your muscles tensed in alarm for just a second before the utter calm in your mind washed over you like a wave, silencing anything that wasn't focused on the sensation of warmth and pleasure that was spreading across your skin.

The burning hot thing from a moment ago pressed against your neck multiple times, all in a line leading up to your ear, and you gasped as the shell of your ear was enveloped in something so fiery and moist, some unseen presence that had you involuntarily bucking your hips upwards, despite being held down by the heaviness of the air. You would have been surprised at the sensation of friction against your groin, but your mind almost seemed to be intentionally blocking out higher functions, despite feeling less in a daze. The person lavishing attention to your most sensitive areas hummed as your hips pressed upwards, and a second later you found yourself unable to move at all, whimpering softly in frustration before drifting away back into the fog of your mind.

But the heat was against you again, that dripping wet furnace that found all your weak spots. It pressed against your chest, and you felt something like a rope slip against you, twisting and pulling. You moaned softly, trying futilely to increase the growing tension in your groin. You tried to reach whatever was keeping you in place, but your arms refused to move, a sharp pain in your wrists pulling your fogged mind a little more into focus as pinpricks of pain tore another gasp from your throat. A sudden clarity made you realize someone was biting your nipples, and you fucking loved it. But more than that, this person's teeth were sharp— _wonderfully_ sharp—meaning this person was a troll. You shuddered at the realization—had Sollux come to finish what you interrupted earlier?

You would have asked him why he was in your house in the middle of the night tonguing your neck and grinding his hips into yours, but your aching erection was suddenly wrapped in a wriggling, slick heat, and you knew he had snaked his bulge around your dick, and you have a moment of feeling thankful you had removed your underwear before falling asleep. Your mind retreated back into the thick haze of pleasure that threatened to drown all thoughts out of your think pan entirely, as the steady pulsing rhythm of his bulge squeezing your cock tore a pitiful whine from your throat. He chuckled, the bastard, breathy and low in his throat, delighting in you becoming a helpless mess beneath him.

You wanted to fight back, scratch him, bite him, anything that would give you an edge and put some power back into your hands, but the muscles in your groin and stomach felt like a tightly wound spring, and it was flooding your body with warmth, and you moaned helplessly, trying again to buck upwards into his touch. It was impossible; his weight held your hips firmly in place, and straining against him just made him snicker all the more at how fucking debauched you must have looked as he slowed the rhythm on your dick and you whine, straining even harder against his weight, but he just laughed all the more before running his tongue over your lips, and by some miracle that brought you out of your half-asleep fog.

“S-sollux...” you pleaded, just wanting him to finish what he had started.

The next moment was the most confusing thing you had experienced since you woke up on your first day of existence. An angry snarl and what felt like a thousand angry needles of pain tore you out of your pleasure-addled thinkpan and slammed you back into reality. There were nails digging into your wrists and shoulders, and the snarling, god what did you _do_? What the fuck did you do to make Sollux so _pissed_?

Before you could even think to ask what he was doing to you, there was a hand clamped around your throat and squeezing just enough to make all of the threat instincts you'd been attempting to squelch come barreling to the forefront of your thoughts, and you froze up in an attempt to seem less like a threat yourself.

The figure in front of you slowly came into view as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, and you could already tell something was off, way off. The height and the weight (how did you not notice that?) and the horns, if nothing else, should have been all the dead giveaway you needed to know you were in deep shit, but you were too busy trying to seem small and submissive to figure out what the hell was going on.

The troll, whoever it was, leaned in close and almost hissed as he said, “Wwhat the fuck did you say?”

It was the difference in speech pattern that drove home that you'd just been molested by some random troll who was now _incredibly_ pissed off that you thought he was Sollux, and a sudden burst of terror and adrenaline had you shoving him off of you, and off of the couch. You rolled after him, attempting to pin him to the ground, but he was lashing out with those claws and scratching your arms and torso to shit, so you hauled off and punched him, damn near gouging your hand with how sharp his cheek bones were. The screech he let loose was deafening, and you knew retaliation was coming, so you grabbed hold of a horn as quickly as you could and wrenched his head back, pressing your free hand to his throat as you shouted, “Who _are_ you?”

“Wwhat the fuck do ya mean ' _wwho am I_ '?” he responded. “Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?”

The next thing you knew you were being blinded, and it took you a moment to realize someone had turned the light on and you weren't wearing your shades. Half a second later you'd adjusted enough to see that you had a handful of jagged shaped horn that was attached to a tall, scrawny looking troll with a shock of purple hair, earfins flared in alarm, a good violet bruise forming on his cheek, and the worst combination of clothes you'd ever seen. He was staring at you like you'd suddenly grown a second head and a third arm, damn near choking on his inability to not think up anything to say, when his face calmed for just a second and you felt a hand grab by your hair and yank you off of the troll, and something very cold and very sharp was placed against your neck.

“What the FUCK is going on in here?” the newcomer bellowed and, oh shit, you had forgotten you weren't supposed to come back to Dave's place tonight, and Dave did not seem happy about a lot more than just finding you in his house if the shitty sword, _your_ shitty sword, at your throat was any indication.

There was no way you could reasonably explain what had happened. An unknown troll had broken into Dave's house hours after you had broken into Dave's house, and then he proceeded to violate you on Dave's couch until you beat the shit out of him? Yeah, that was some believable stuff right there. But before you had a chance to even _think_ about explaining, you caught a glimpse of something bright pink in your peripheral vision, and turned your head just enough within Dave's grasp to see that he was wearing lacy panties and nothing else, and your face must have turned as red as his un-shaded eyes, because he caught you staring and shoved you away.

The strange troll had gotten to his feet and was bristling with indignation as he stomped up to Dave and snarled right in his face before demanding to know “wwho the fuck is _that_ ”, and you couldn't help but be impressed at how Dave didn't even flinch when there was so much aggression being directed at him.

Dave shrugged and said, “He's mine and Vantas' love child or something.”

“WWHAT?” bellowed the troll, and you couldn't help but flinch farther away from them, trying to avoid the full blown fight you knew was coming.

“C'mon, Eridan, it's not like that,” Dave explained. “He was made in a lab, all right? Just calm down; you're making this weird.”

“ _I'm_ making this wweird?” the troll snarled, so riled up that he was practically on his tip toes just so he could glare daggers directly into Dave's eyes.

And Dave kissed him.

It was slow and tender, and the troll's earfins went limp almost instantly as he wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and chirruped against Dave's touch and oh _shit_.

Dave's matesprit had just been getting you off on Dave's couch.

It took less than a second for you to decide that you needed to find some pants and back the hell out of there without drawing any attention to yourself, but that brief moment of hesitation was all the time required for Dave to have the katana pressed back against your throat, and you decided standing there was probably a better option after all.

Despite being so openly threatening with you, Dave took his time greeting his matesprit, Eridan apparently, as he cupped the troll's cheek in his hand and smiled at him.

“Missed you, babe,” he said, softer and sweeter than any tone of voice you had ever heard him use before. “I thought you were getting back earlier. I tried to wait up for you.”

“I wwanted to surprise you,” Eridan responded. “But this fuckin' kid looks almost identical to you, and I didn't knoww you'd havve a fuckin' guest so...”

Even though your mind should have been firmly planted in the realm of 'someone who generally dislikes me has a blade to my neck', you couldn't help but feel incredibly hurt when you realized you had been kicked out because Dave had been waiting for this troll to come back, someone who so obviously mattered much more than you. You crossed your arms over your chest, just barely keeping yourself from tapping your foot impatiently, because you knew it would only bring you more trouble, but you wished Dave would just dole out your punishment and let you go already, because you still had an aching hard on and you just wanted to be with someone who actually gave a shit about you and who would take you away from the constant pain this house and its inhabitants caused you.

Dave's eyes were suddenly on you, seething with the hottest rage you'd ever seen, as though the fact that his matesprit just tried to get his jollies off with another man was your fault just for existing.

“I don't have a guest,” he said and you sighed as he stepped closer to you, pressing the katana closer against your neck. He was so damn theatrical. “Why the fuck are you here?”

As much as you wanted to seem like you were unaffected by everything that was going on, you had to admit that you were in the wrong on this thing at least. Dave had been very clear that you weren't supposed to return home that night, and yet there you were. You swallowed your nervousness, attempted to ignore the gnawing want in your groin as much as you attempted to ignore the way Dave was staring you down while wearing the girliest pair of panties you'd ever seen, and put on your best game face.

“I just...forgot,” you stammered out, distinctly less cool than you wanted to seem. “I'm sorry.”

“You really fucking expect me to believe that you just magically forgot that you weren't supposed to show up here tonight?” asked Dave. “Like I'm supposed to think you just got it in your head that showing up and lounging around in the dark in my house looking like my damned twin wasn't going to get you some action?”

You balked at the suggestion. He honestly thought you'd intentionally showed up to trick his matesprit into fucking you? Any cool you might have had was officially lost.

“I didn't know he was going to be here!” you shouted. “I didn't even know why you wanted me out of the fucking house!”

Dave snorted, like you had just told the most sickeningly offensive joke he'd ever heard. “Why the fuck else would I kick you out for the night?”

“Maybe because you fucking _hate me_?” you screamed, and the room immediately fell silent.

Dave and Eridan stood there staring at you for a moment, Dave angry and contemplative and Eridan open-mouthed and dealing with a serious case of confusion. Despite the fact he had just assaulted you, you honestly felt bad for the guy for coming home to a nuclear explosion of ecto-family drama in his living room, and he would barely have an understanding of regular family drama as it was given that he was a troll. His expression was surprisingly kind given the circumstances, but as you felt the tears slowly drip down your cheeks, you realized he was feeling just as bad for you.

“Yeah, you're right,” Dave said, and your chest felt like it was caving inwards. “I do hate you. With good fucking reason too.”

He dropped the katana from your throat and held it out to you handle first. You had no idea what that meant, and you partially wondered if it was some sort of fake out, but when you hesitantly took grasp of it he simply let it go, seemingly giving you full ownership of it.

“So,” he started, “gather up whatever shit you own, and take that shitty katana you loved to fuck up my stuff with so damn much, and go. And if you come back this time, I will strife you on sight.”

You stared at him in disbelief, jaw halfway to the floor where your tears were slowly staining the carpet a darker color. “Where am I supposed to go?”

“Don't really fucking care, _bro_ ,” Dave sneered. “Build yourself a fucking hive or something. Isn't that what trolls are supposed to do anyway?”

You don't quite remember what happened after he said that. It was all kind of a blur in your mind. You knew that you were out on the streets with a katana in hand. You knew that your shirt was torn to shreds, that you had somehow found some pants to wear, and that there was an empty ache in your bulge. You knew that your ganderbulbs stung and your thinkpan felt like it was trying to implode on itself. And you knew that the katana you were gripping so tightly had film of cottony stuffing and purple liquid, so you had clearly done some damage before you ended up alone wandering in the small hours of the morning. You didn't know where you were going, but you ended up at Sollux's lab.

You dropped the katana in his doorway, shocking him to attention as the loud clanging of steel hitting the floor tore through the silence of the mostly empty building. He looked completely pissed off for all of half a second before his jaw dropped and his eyes went so large that you could see them around his bi-colored glasses, and he was practically leaping out of his chair to rush to you a second later.

He wanted to know what was wrong, of course, you could see the concern plastered all over his face. But you didn't want to talk about it, and the moment he opened his mouth to ask what had happened, you pressed your tongue into it, cupping his face in your hands so he couldn't back away in surprise. It worked, and a second later he was melting into your touch, wrapping his tongue around yours and moaning softly into your mouth. You ground your hips against his, kick-starting your bulge back into life and feeling that familiar ache return with more intensity, like the thrumming of an idling engine just waiting to be put into gear.

You broke the kiss to come up for air, panting against Sollux's lips as he gently surveyed the cuts that adorned your neck and torso, obviously torn between arousal and distress at the sight of how beat up and fucked up you were. You wanted him to stop, needed him to focus. You didn't care about the pain or the complicated sensation of an almost thrashing numbness in your thinkpan. You were hurt, and you were used, and, _fuck_ , you just wanted Sollux to use you more, as though his touch could reclaim all the parts of that had been shattered into the wind and glue them back together haphazardly enough to make you a mostly functional _human being_.

“Fuck me,” you whispered against his lips, and the air crackled with a burst of psionics so violent that you couldn't help but grin.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where the sex finally happens

It took very little convincing to get Sollux's full interest, and you immediately felt guilty for ever mistaking Eridan for him because the amount of psionics Sollux used during foreplay was almost alarming. The room was thick with it, and you honestly found yourself worrying it would light the building up like a flare, let alone fry all the electronics in the room.

Sollux had you backed against his desk in mere seconds, bearing down on you as he kissed the breath out of your lungs. He had a surprising amount of strength in him for having such a slender frame, and you were glad for it because, despite how much you wanted this to happen, you didn't actually want to be the one to take charge. It was still too new and too strange, and you just wanted someone to take you by the bulge and lead you through it.

It sickened you to think about it, to compare them in such a way, but Sollux was nothing like Eridan. Eridan had been all sharp edges and ferocity, whereas Sollux was much more of a slow burn, firm and controlled, yet gentle. You wondered briefly if it was because he was flushed for you, but then remembered that Eridan was flushed for Dave, who he was mistaking you for, so you really didn't know exactly what Dave had gotten himself into with that one, but you definitely felt like you'd come out on top with _something_ in life, at least.

Not that you were on top right that second.

Sollux had you damn near pliant under him, trying so hard to hold back how much he wanted this, but he couldn't stop himself from clawing softly at you, reopening the partially healed scratches that littered your arms and chest, but you didn't mind the pain. It felt cathartic, like he was replacing all of the damage Eridan had done with his own, reclaiming every inch of you as his, instead of some asshole of a troll who attacked you in the middle of the night.

The air crackled against your skin and you gasped against Sollux's mouth as your nipples tingled and burned in the best way, and you were so glad the troll you'd fallen for was psychic, because he could touch every inch of you at once, and everyone else on this shitty planet should've been attempting to murder you for grabbing this guy's flushed quadrant just for that reason alone. Your dick twitched and ached as Sollux pressed his hips tighter against yours, pushing you upwards until you were sitting on the edge of the desk, legs wrapped around Sollux's waist, pinning him as close to you as you possibly could as you ran your hands through his hair and rested them on his horns, rubbing slow circles around the base of the largest ones. He moaned into your mouth, punctuated with the popping sound of psionics bursting around you, as he wrapped his forked tongue around yours and sucked it deeper into his mouth, catching your lip on his teeth with just enough force to draw blood. You hissed at the pain, but the warm, metallic taste in your mouth made you dizzy with pleasure, and Sollux was feeling it too if the way he was lapping his tongue against the tiny cut was any indication, and you were glad that the troll part of you made the taste of blood increased your lust to staggering heights.

Watching Sollux take his time turning you on would have been incredibly hypnotizing if it wasn't for the fact that you'd been edged along the point of no return twice in the past twenty-four hours, and you were actually going to go out of your mind if someone didn't get you off in the next ten minutes. You grabbed a fistful of Sollux's hair as you pulled him away just enough to dislodge his tongue from your throat before biting his lower lip as hard as your shitty human teeth could manage and dug your thumbnail into the base of his horn just in case the bite wouldn't be enough. The effect was immediate, and a little frightening. Sollux's eyes were blown wide, and whatever noise he might have made in response got caught up as a pitiful gurgle in his throat, but you barely even noticed as you flinched against the storm of psionics bursting around you like a thousand tiny whip lashes against the most sensitive areas of your skin. You gasped as a particularly severe flare sent the most delicious tingling sensation through your balls, and you would have collapsed from the dizzying sensation it filled your mind with, if you weren't latched so tightly onto Sollux's horns. But he was also trying to stay upright by clawing at your already clawed up shirt and finding it impossible to find purchase on the shredding fabric, and instead put all his strength into bowling you backwards over the desk, head dangling off the edge enough to stretch your neck out to full length, and Sollux took full advantage by licking his pronged tongue along your neck and jaw before giving you the sweetest love bite right below your ear.

You moaned and bucked against him as you fumbled hopelessly at his jeans. You could feel his bulge squirming under the thick denim, and you just wanted it _out_ already, but he was just far enough out of reach that you couldn't do much more than unbutton him before he growled and pulled your hands away. You were confused and hurt for about half a second and then Sollux was ripping off the remaining shreds of your shirt and tearing your pants apart in an attempt to get them off and his tongue was wrapped around one stiffened nipple and oh god Sollux had decided to take charge and you could have fucking cried from how thankful you were as you let your head drop and dangle from the edge of the desk again, more than happy to lay back and just _feel_.

Sollux stalled just then, his hands resting stiffly on your bare hips as his tongue ceased its ministrations. The psionics that had been kissing every inch of your body dulled until they were so unnoticeable that the room seemed almost like a void in comparison to the life that had been sparking through it just moments ago. You propped yourself up on your elbows, about to toss a harsh “what the _fuck_ ” Sollux's way, until you saw his expression. The look he was giving your body was so open and raw that it felt like the weight of it would cut straight through to your bloodpusher and kill you where you laid if it just had a physical form. And then you saw it, the thing that had stopped him.

Your dick-bulge still had the sticky remnants of purple fluids on it. You groaned softly as you returned to hanging your head off the desk, this time with a touch more shame than before.

“Why,” Sollux breathed, and if you hadn't spent the past hour feeling emotionally deadened, you might have cried at how betrayed he sounded, but you settled for pressing your hands against your eyes, wanting to block out the fact that this was happening yet again. You were so worked up, and so ready to go, and you had ruined it yet _again_.

“He, uh,” you choked out, throat feeling uncomfortably tight as every organ in your body burned with a sudden onset of fear that threatened to squeeze the life out of you if you didn't fix this _right now_ , “he sort of...assaulted me.”

The psionics prickled at your skin, slowly becoming more and more agitated.

“It was dark,” you continued, “and he thought I was Dave, so...”

You couldn't finish the sentence, partially because the only thing that could have possibly made this situation worse would be to detail what exactly had happened to a troll that was already having difficulty coping with the remnants of the attack, but mostly because the energy that had been prickling at your skin was practically whipping into your flesh as it filled every inch of the air around the two of you, and you bolted upright to find that Sollux was _seething_ to the point where sparks were actually shooting out of his eyes, and you didn't know if they were real or if they'd burn, but you had to shoosh him and calm him and tell him it's fine, you're fine, so you pressed your hands to his cheeks and shooshed him softly, but you weren't his moirail and you just couldn't seem to get it to work

“Sollux, _please_ ,” you begged as you pressed your forehead to his, ignoring the pinpricks of pain from each spark that kissed your skin. “It doesn't matter. _He_ doesn't matter.”

That got through to him at least, and his psionics settled down soon after, but he still looked so pained, and you wished you could just stop fucking things up for once.

Sollux placed his hands over yours, rubbing his thumbs against your skin, and you couldn't help but grin a bit at the show of affection because it was rare for you and so very welcomed, but you hadn't given up on getting pailed, and you needed to turn the situation around and _fast_.

You pressed a kiss to his lips, ignoring his hesitation in returning it, before saying, “Just take me, please. I just want to forget it; _make me_ forget it.”

It was just a line, and it wasn't necessarily how you even felt, but it had the desired effect and Sollux was greedily probing your mouth with that forked tongue again, and his hands were sliding along your hips again, and this time you were close enough to unbutton his jeans and shove them down far enough to slip a hand in and _holy shit_ apparently his tongue wasn't the only forked thing on Sollux's body.

Sollux chuckled, and you could only assume it was from how deep the burn in your cheeks was and the level your jaw had dropped to as two bulges snaked around your hand and wrist, but you were pretty sure it was a really good and accurate assumption.

“I can't,” you said, and if your voice came out in an incredibly uncool squeak, well who the fuck could even blame you? “Not _both_ of them.”

Sollux grinned against your lips as he pressed you down against the desk once again. “Don't thell yourthelf short.”

Your bloodpusher screamed against your ribs, frantic over the thought of being stretched to the point of debilitating pain. “B-but...not on my first time, I can't!”

Then Sollux was palming your dick and all of your protests died on your lips as you arched your back and moaned against his touch. Psionics vibrated over every inch of your body and buzzed in your ears, and as Sollux pulled your pants off you could feel the energy pulsing through your balls, and it was all you could do to stifle the cry that threatened to claw its way through your throat as you felt the pulsing make its way toward your ass and shit it just resonated deep inside of you and you writhed under the psionics pinning you to the desk as tears came unbidden to your eyes because it was filling you with a scorching heat and a slow pain and you sobbed as you realized that Sollux was stretching you open with his _goddamn mind_.

His bulge—bulges?—slithered against your asshole, one of them pressing in just enough to slick your entrance without causing you much discomfort, but it was still foreign and weird and you just wanted more, but Sollux had pinned you down with his psionics, probably knowing full well you'd be attempting to stuff yourself on his bulge the second you got a taste of it. He was right, and it was nice to know that he knew you well enough to keep you from causing yourself undo injury, but that didn't make you whine any less as you hopelessly struggled against the force keeping you pushed against the desk, trying so hard to thrust yourself against him, to fill yourself with him and just be _his_ already, be something worthwhile instead of some broken outcast that no one had time for. Then his second bulge was slicking a path up your balls and twining its way around your cock, and you _keened_ from the heat working its way inside you, surrounding you, the psionics tweaking your nipples, Sollux kissing down your jaw and neck, and if he didn't start actually fucking you _right now_ you were going to die. You were actually going to die from a sensory overload and it would be his fault, and he would have to live for the rest of his miserable life knowing he fucked around for too long and ruined his only chance to pail you.

Just as you were about to tell him about how you were about to die and leave him in mourning with an aching bulge(s), you managed to keep your head still long enough to notice the door leading to the secret hallway was open, and more than that, there was a figure standing at the other end of the hallway just _glistening_ in the light of the room on the other end and, _shit_!, the other guy was watching you and if you had to take a wild guess as why he was shimmering like he'd gotten a face full of pixie dust, it would have to be that he was drenched in sweat from being a total creeper and watching Sollux fuck you into the hardwood of his lab desk, and you would have said something about it, but the audacity he was displaying by just standing there and watching you squirm in pleasure as his muscles flexed in agitation and arousal (you were assuming because you couldn't actually see but you really wanted that to be the case) was just enough to make everything Sollux was doing to you feel _that much better_ , because maybe you really were as terrible as everyone had been trying to tell you this whole time, but _damned_ if that didn't make you feel wonderful right that second.

The second Sollux had pressed his bulge into you fully was the second Equius started palming himself through his shorts and became the second when you knew you had pushed past the point of no escape and you were about to need a pail because Sollux's breath was hot against your neck and his bulges were undulating over and in you and something just inside your ass was sending searing bright bursts of pleasure through your twitching cock that had you babbling out a litany of curses punctuated with wordless moans and you were almost there, so close, just a little...

FUCK.

Sollux chuckled darkly in your ear and you wanted to _throttle him_ , but you were pinned and his bulge was wrapping so tightly around your cock that there was no way you could come and tears streamed from your eyes as you pleaded for him to let go, the _bastard_ , but he nibbled at your ear in response and that was _not helping_.

The bulge inside you doubled its pace and you _swore_ that Sollux was intentionally putting twice as much pressure on that spot that was driving you out of your fucking _mind_ as you whimpered and cried and pleaded, and Sollux shooshed you with “wait”s and “trutht me”s, but you didn't want _trust_ , you wanted to fucking _come_.

Then Sollux was moaning against your neck and everything going on inside you suddenly felt twice as hot as liquid started dripping out of your asshole and over your cock and how the _fuck was this fair_ , but then Sollux loosened his grip on you and you came with a strangled sob, body spasming in the best way, and you found yourself briefly wondering why you had even avoided doing this to begin with, and whether or not you had actually just managed to get some of your own genetic fluid on your face or if that was just something you imagined while you were passing out from exhaustion a two seconds later.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No happy endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for forgetting to upload this for so long

You awoke some hours later someplace unfamiliar, which seemed to be a fairly common occurrence for your thus far short life, but if the sopor you were sitting in was any indication, it was definitely a troll's hive. And since you were really only on good terms with one troll, it wasn't hard to figure out whose hive it was, though it would have been otherwise. Sollux's respiteblock was strangely devoid of electronics. In fact, it really wasn't furnished at all, which kind of supported your previous assumption that Sollux lived in the lab rather than a hive.

The room was also missing a Sollux, and you ran a hand through your hair as you considered getting up to find him. You'd had a lot of fun the previous night...well, as much fun as someone could have after being molested by a strange troll, threatened with a sword, kicked out of their home, and fucked into oblivion while a stranger watched and got himself off. But even though it was the most fun you'd had so far in your short life, you felt like an idiot now. You couldn't believe the way you'd behaved, or the things that had happened to you, and you were starting to remember that you may have caused some serious damage at Dave's place before leaving? _Fuck_ , your head hurt. You rubbed your palms against your eyes and, oh right, you were covered in slime. Again.

You sighed at how godawful your life seemed sometimes as you did your best to wipe some of the slime off your face and arms before you noticed the towel that had been laid out for you. You couldn't help the grin that immediately spread across your face. The towel would be more useful if you knew where the ablution trap was, but it was honestly enough just to know that Sollux was thinking about you.

There were only two doors in the room, and since one of them was open and leading into a dimly lit hallway, you figured the other one must be the abolutionblock and climbed out of Sollux's recuperacoon to check it out. It ended up being a closet full of snares of wires, thick cables, circuit boards, and okay, maybe Sollux did live here after all. You grinned even wider, your bloodpusher thumping steadily against your chest. Being surrounded by all things Sollux was...overwhelmingly pleasant. Like you might need to sit down to keep from getting dizzy from how flushed you felt over your...

Well, actually, you should probably ask him if he was your matesprit before calling him that in your head, you guessed. You didn't want to get ahead of yourself just to be massively disappointed again. That was another common occurrence for your thus far short life, and not one you wanted to happen in this instance.

You grabbed the towel, wondered briefly where your clothes had ended up, then headed out into the hall to find the ablution block immediately to your right, and proceeded to clean slime out of your hair for the second time in a month, but managing to avoid the accompanying panic attack that had happened last time. If you weren't so hesitant about letting yourself feel fully optimistic about your life, you might have thought things were looking pretty good for you right now. You'd come to terms with your physical self, had found someone who accepted you as you were, and might have even gotten that same person into your red quadrant. And if that was the case, you were willing to bet he'd also let you share his hive, which would mean you also wouldn't be unwanted trash drifting along the streets anymore, and that would be the highest point of your life so far if that happened.

When you turned off the trap, you heard voices from somewhere down the hall, and they didn't sound happy. You wrapped the towel around you and crept over to the door, slowly opening it just enough to hear what was going on, but you already had a good idea of what was happening.

“...the _fuck_ is he?” Dave was shouting, and your knees wobbled just enough to warrant huddling on the floor, wrapped in your towel like it was a damn security blanket that would keep all the bad things out.

“Yeah, 'cuth I'm definitely going to tell you _that_ ,” Sollux replied, and that grin was on your lips again.

“I'm not fucking around here, Sol, he's gone too damn far this time,” Dave insisted, sounding a little more upset than angry. “He cut Eridan up pretty good. He's going to have a nasty scar.”

Sollux scoffed. “I'm thure he'll fucking live, and probably even enjoy a thcar or two.”

“It's not _funny_ ,” Dave was definitely upset now. “This is getting dealt with now so hand him the fuck over.”

The growl that followed was so wonderfully protective that you were certain Sollux would agree to being your matesprit.

“Tho what the fuck are you going to do about it?” he shouted. “Hurt him? Fucking kill him? Are you going to pull out thome vigilante juthtice and put an end to him? Are you really that fucked up in the head that you'd jutht kill a guy becauthe he'th pithed you off?”

Dave was silent for good while, and somewhere in the mix of hearing Dave so upset over his matesprit, and the fact that he might even want to kill you over it, you started to really feel terrible about what you'd done to him. He shouldn't have kept you around, or you should have known better than to stay. You didn't know why you'd felt so attached to him and his house. It was a terrible fit for the both of you. You'd had so much to learn about yourself and how you fit into the world; you still did. Dave had already lived all the years of his life and knew where he wanted to be. He shouldn't have been expected to help you learn where you needed to be as well. He'd just needed you out of his life, not even permanently. You'd just needed time apart, that's all. But you'd gone back, and it'd blown way out of proportion, and you'd gotten caught up in your chaotic thoughts yet again and caused him more pain than ever before in undeserved retribution.

Dave's voice was strained with anguish as he said, “I don't know _what_ to do, Sol. This wasn't even supposed to happen. They just sprung this kid on me, and my boyfriend just spent the morning bleeding in the shower, and we don't even have rules in place for this kind of shit! What the fuck _do_ we do when this kind of shit happens?”

Sollux sighed and you rested your chin against your knees and chose to believe the water dripping down your cheeks was just from your wet hair.

“I'll take care of him now,” Sollux said as he shut the door. A moment later he was standing next to you in the ablutionblock, and the moment after that he was sitting next to you tangling his limbs around you and pulling you close. You look up at him and he smiled softly, brushing away the water on your cheeks that you refused to believe were tears, and kissing the frown off your lips. It was perfect and warm, which of course meant it couldn't last.

“Dirk,” he murmured, and you found yourself looking into the eyes of a rather upset looking Sollux, “did you hurt Eridan?”

Your bloodpusher stilled as you suddenly felt incredibly cold, despite having a towel and a Sollux wrapped around you.

“I...” _had purple blood on my katana but chose to ignore it_ , was not a thing you could tell him, “...don't remember. Last night was just...”

Sollux nodded and hugged you closer, and you thanked any and all celestial beings that may have ever existed in this universe or the one before it that he wasn't actually able to read your thoughts.

“Dave thayth he'th hurt,” he continued. “He thayths you're the one who did it.”

“Dave would say anything to make me look bad,” you lied, because the look on Sollux's face was making your chest feel tight and you just wanted him to keep thinking highly of you.

He ran a hand through your hair, pulling you close enough to rest his forehead against yours. “I don't think he hath it in him to be that good an actor, Dirk.”

You pulled away from him, burning with indignation that you had no right to feel, but couldn't control. “Are you saying you believe him?”

Sollux reached out to you again, but you pulled farther back, and if he looked hurt by the action well...maybe it was time for someone else to feel upset about their mistakes.

“I jutht mean,” he paused, obviously trying to choose his words carefully, “It'th no thecret that you have difficulty controlling your anger thometimeth.”

You shouldn't have felt so upset. You had spent the last five minutes thinking the same things that Sollux was saying, but now it was taking all of your strength not to yell at him, to tell him how much it hurt you that he would choose to believe Dave's truths over your lies, that he was supposed to be the one person who would be there for him and accept him, no matter what. Instead you stood and walked out into the hallway, just needing to be in a larger space than the tiny ablutionblock, finding your way to the front door.

“But he attacked me!” you exclaimed as Sollux followed you out, and you couldn't help but notice the yellow tint in his cheeks as the towel dropped from around your body. “Why should anyone take his side?”

“I know,” Sollux said, and he really did seem torn between wanting to protect you and wanting to fix this mess. “But...I don't know, Dirk. It theemth like you hurt him pretty badly.”

“But he hurt _me_!” you cried, fisting your hands into your hair as you turned away from him. You felt like you were going insane. “Sol, he _did things_ to me! Why does what I did matter _more_?”

His arms were around you a second later, and you shivered under his touch as he chanted a soft “I know, I know” against your shoulder.

“It doethn't matter more,” he said after a while, “but it all needth to thtop. What he did wath wrong, but you can't jutht retaliate when thomeone hurtth you.”

You sighed, knowing he was right.

“I know it'th hard,” he continued, “but you jutht have to thtop doing thith. You have to try to calm down and act more...normal, I gueth.”

The bottom fell out of your chest and your heart plummeted through to unknowable depths, and you shoved your way out of Sollux's grasp, whole body shaking.

“Normal?” you said, and the hollowness to your voice frightened even you. “You want me to be normal?”

You turned slowly, barely containing the rage burning inside you at being betrayed for the second time in one day, and not even pain on Sollux's face would calm you, because the fact that he had only just now realized what he had said, and how horrible it was to say it would never change the fact that you knew how he felt about you now, and what he wanted from you was _exactly_ what everyone else wanted, and despite how much it made your insides ache, you couldn't help but wonder if he had felt that way the entire time he had been worming his way into your graces with his too eager acceptance of who you were, and you realized he had never actually wanted you; he had just wanted someone who would put up with him too.

“I...” was all he got out before you were shoving past him to find your clothes and get the fuck out of there. “Dirk, wait, _pleathe_!”

But you refused to listen to anything he had to say. He was just like the rest of them, just waiting around for you to grow up and figure out what was wrong with you so you could fall in line and become like everyone else. That wasn't you; _this_ was. You'd been yourself this whole time, and everyone had refused to accept that simple truth because it was more convenient for them to try to mold you into what they wanted you to be.

You found your clothes wadded up on by the respiteblock door, and were halfway into your pants before Sollux had caught up with you, but there was nothing he could say to change your mind, and nothing he could do to keep you from leaving, and when he placed a calming hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention, trying to talk you down, you shoved him against the wall and pinned your forearm to his throat as you snarled at him.

He was pitiful; tears streaming from his eyes, glasses askew, trembling under your grip, silently pleading with you to stop, to calm down, and some small voice niggling in the back of your mind wailed and moaned, beating against the recesses of your thinkpan to make you _stop_ , make you see what you were doing and how you were hurting and _hurting him_ , and you shoved Sollux to the floor before storming out, slamming the door behind you.

You didn't know where exactly you were in relation to the rest of the town, but you were damn well going to figure it out. You didn't want to see anyone you knew ever again, but you weren't stupid. You'd left shit too valuable to ignore back at the lab, and you needed it back. Something in the back of your mind registered that Sollux wasn't coming after you, something in the forefront swallowed up that knowledge, and added it to the existing rage-fueled inferno burning inside you as you trudged on.

For once, you didn't care about the number of people staring at you as you walked by, and you were quite the sight to see. Covered in scratches and bites, missing a shirt, shoes, and your trademark shades, seething anger like a dark aura, and looking much more imposing than you had ever managed before. No one bothered you, no one tried to calm you down because there was no calm to be had, and they knew better than to fuck with you now.

You didn't bother with the back door, opting to barge right through the front because you had nothing to hide anymore. Your katana was on the floor, purple smear still on the blade, but your shades were another story. They weren't plugged into Sollux's laptop, and you had no idea where he'd put them. You spent a good ten minutes sifting through piles of who the fuck even knew what, tossing things around, probably breaking stuff, and just generally throwing an angry fit until you heard someone loudly clear their throat. You spun around to find Equius standing in the hidden doorway, blushing the brightest blue you'd ever seen and sweating like someone had lit a fire directly under his ass.

“I thought Sollux was...” he started before awkwardly trailing off. “Uh, I see you've recovered.”

“What?” you asked, voice strained with frustration.

“Early this morning I carried you home,” he said, cheeks somehow turning a darker shade of blue. “You were incapacitated. Perhaps...ill.”

And for the fourth time that day, you found yourself unable to stop the grin that slowly formed on your lips because it was so simple, so perfectly, beautifully simple. You needed some things in order to survive, and you needed even more to get back at everyone who had wronged you, and Equius just needed to pretend like he hadn't spent his early morning jacking it to watching you being fucked in the ass, and that was something you could certainly work with.

“Oh, of course, that was _you_ ,” you said, leaning against Sollux's desk, forcing away any memories that may have involved it. “I should have known. Sollux said the person sharing this space with him was strong, and Sollux wouldn't be strong enough to carry me like that.”

It was too easy. He was practically vibrating out of his skin at the mention of strength, and if he kept sweating like that he'd be swimming in a puddle of it before long.

“You seem like you might need some help?” he asked, looking around at the mess you'd made, but paying special attention to his handsome robot, making sure it hadn't become damaged. How fortunate for you that he offered to help again.

“Yes, actually,” you drawled as you nonchalantly walked over to the robot and made like you were giving it an appreciative inspection. “I need some things alchemized. Clothes, shoes. Maybe some gloves so I can hold my sword better.” You flashed another smile in his direction. “My grip's not as strong as it should be.”

He squeaked a response before rushing from the room, and by the time you'd found your shades and placed them securely back over your eyes, he'd returned with a tank top, sneakers, and a pair of leather fingerless gloves, and he looked incredibly pleased about having done it.

“There's one more thing I need,” you said as you fastened the wrist straps on your gloves, flexing your fingers to get the feel of them. It was perfect.

Equius was fidgeting near Sollux's desk. “Yes?”

You pushed him back against the desk, forcing him into the same sitting position Sollux had you in last night, the same position you were doing your best to forget as you straddled Equius and ghosted your lips over his, enjoying the way he whimpered under you a bit too much, despite what the nagging voice trapped in the farthest corners of your mind was screaming about matesprits and betrayal and whatever bullshit it thought was important.

“This is incredibly lewd,” Equius said, voice strangled and hoarse sounding.

“I just want to show my appreciation,” you said, putting on a subtle pout. “And I was hoping I could convince you to teach me how to build my own robots. Yours is just so... _powerful_.”

He wanted to ask why, you could tell, but you couldn't let him know why, so you ground softly against his hips, and he trembled at the touch before emphatically nodding his head yes.

“Perfect!” you exclaimed. “We'll start today.”

But you were already this far, and you could already feel his bulge squirming against his shorts beneath you, and it would be a shame to leave him so hopelessly aroused after getting him to agree to such an important task...

And if you felt any energy crackling in the air as you pressed your lips to Equius', some unseen force bursting through the hidden hallway to nip angrily at your skin—perhaps in response to you biting down Equius' neck, for instance—then you just ignored it like a child throwing a tantrum, demanding things he'd never actually wanted in the first place.


End file.
